The Chronicles of a working Mom

This is very strange! I’m sitting at my desk, looking all busy like i’m actually working when infact i’m just day dreaming. On one side, I’m wishing that I stayed home today and just spent all day vlogging and watching YouTube, but on the other side, i’m just wondering what life would be like if I didn’t have to wake up every morning to go to work!….*Sigh*….

You know when I was still studying I used to imagine the corporate world as a place to be. A place where all dreams come true, a place where people get rich, a place where you get to meet nice people [must’ve been out of my mind], and a place where judgement is non existent. Well, you know what? I was WRONG, i was sooo wrong! Honestly, I can’t even tell what makes me more irritated, the judgement, the company or maybe the fact that I don’t really want to be here.

My entire life as a little girl, I dreamed about what it’ll be like when I get a job and how many things I’m going to buy and just how happy I would be. I even had a plan of how it’ll all work out, with a timeline and everything. I worked so hard to make sure that the plan is executed well and on time, and I successfully did. I got all the things I wanted, all the things I dreamed of as a lil girl and even more. I got the job I wanted, the life I wanted [still work in progress know,adjusting to changing lifestyle], and acquired all within the planned dates. But i’m not quite sure if this makes me happy. Don’t get me wrong, i’m not unhappy per se but I certainly am not content. I always imagined myself feeling very content and satisfied once I got all the things I mentioned earlier but at the moment i’m not. Did I maybe set myself up for failure?

I keep getting this feeling that something is missing. The only problem is I have no idea what that is. I tried explaining to my partner and he also doesn’t get it, not that I blame him. I honestly have no idea how to explain what is missing. Not a week goes by where I don’t get this feeling and it just makes me feel so uneasy. Do you ever feel like this? Please tell me i’m not alone!


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